Always outnumbered. Generally overdresssed.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The SPETZNATZ financial requisition bag

One of the nice things about not having an art director is that it's forcing me to actually make all the strange ideas that I've been going on about for ages, but could never persuade anyone else to execute. The downside is it tends to look a bit shit, but that's ok, I'm the art director now, and I'm a copywriter.

Anyway, I had this idea ages ago about men and bags. Men have a problem buying bags. The only bag a man is allowed to carry is a rucksack, which if you're in the habit of occasionally wearing a suit, makes you look you're some kind of soulless cunt reading for an MBA. Of course, if you're feeling metrosexual, or you're a planner, you can get yourself a fruity manbag. Frankly no solution as far as I'm concerned. The problem isn't how the bag looks, it's just carrying a bag has these strong associations of femininity. What men need is a new story. So I came up with this new brand for bags:

Oh, you want to read what's on the little label there?

Like men buy the new North Face Cross Training X-Weave Fell-Runner for their 20 minute walk to work. They have no intention of ever running the 16 peaks of Xuaxcotlpetl, but they like the story. So these are bags for crime. This is the first one, which is the Financial Requisition Hold All - it's designed to contain up to 10,000,000 RUB in notes. The range also includes the Hostage Taker's Shoulder Bag. And the Bomber's Briefcase.

If nothing else, I'm at least coming to realise why I can't maintain a relationship with an art director for more than a few months.


Anonymous said...

i like the way you write but now understand why you were made redundant.

Gordon Comstock said...

Come on fucko, that's a pretty easy pop.

And I know where you work, so I suspect you're very thankful you don't have to show to anyone the tedious garbage that you shovel out onto the media landscape in a situation where they can answer back.

I just wanted to see if I could do a non-advertising idea. I'm not full of hope for this one, but I wanted to try it.

Anonymous said...

God loves a tryer.
Maybe he'll give you a job.

Gordon Comstock said...

You spent 15 mins 27 seconds agonizing over the post a comment box and came up with that?

Tom said...

Well, I like it. It reminds me of some clothing I saw years ago in Sleazenation or The Face. They were jackets and they featured ear plugs and dust masks to protect the wearer from pollution when they went out to graf a toilet door in a pub.

El Mariachi said...

I like it

who the fuck needs art directors anyway!!

Gordon Comstock said...

Ah yes. Nice to see my ideas are reminiscent of something from two long defunct fashion magazines.

I was thinking of doing a post about The Face - the last agency I was at had nearly all of them, going back to the eighties. No one ever looked at them and it was quite hard work not to pilfer.

Style magazines are the canaries in the mainstream media coal mine aren't they?

Tom said...

no, that suggests they have a point.

Anonymous said...

I like it.