Always outnumbered. Generally overdresssed.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Dave writes

Bit tired this morning. I was up late last night trying to post a childhood sexual experience into the comments section of Dave Trott's excellent blog. Dave usually replies in person, reminding me of the ASBO, but he must have hit the wrong button because what should I find in my inbox this morning but the next post intended for his own blog! Never one to miss out on a scoop, I post it here. No need to thank me Dave.


John Webster would often say to me, "Dave, could you please just stop talking."

Of course, he didn't mean that I should actually stop speaking.

He was being creative.

What he meant was I needed communicate differently from other people.

That was the only way to stand out.

All the other blokes in the department, if they wanted to get an idea out of their heads, they'd just use the communication centres in their brains, in combination with their lungs and vocal chords.

They'd call this "speaking".

But I quickly realised that if everyone was "speaking", there was no way of being heard.

It's like in football - you only have one ball on the pitch at time, not loads of balls with everyone running about chasing a different one.

That would be chaos.

And it would end in violence.

So I noticed a lot of people in the department drank tea.

Nice cuppa at the beginning of a meeting?

Yes thanks Dave.

Milk and two sugars is it?

Yes thanks Dave.

Well, a lot of people got sick and died that year.

It's like Fred and Rose West. When they went out looking for hitchers they always took the kids with them.

That way, lone females would just assume they were a nice family.

Sometimes, to get what you want, you have to be prepared to do what no one else will.

Some people call that criminal insanity.

I call it innovative everyday brainthinking.

In other words, being a creative.


Mike said...

That's what advertising needs, a good old fashioned serial killer.

PH said...


If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas said...

That's very funny, and pitched just right.

Out of interest, Gordon, who are you and where do you work? (Send me an email if you like. Don't reply if you don't like.)

Do they appreciate your writing?

Gordon Comstock said...


Isn't it more fun if I don't tell you?

I think you know the answer to your second question. Thank you though.

PH said...

You big tease.

Anonymous said...

I know who you are . . .

Gordon Comstock said...

Yeah, well I know who you are and all.

Anonymous said...

And I like this blog more than Scamps